With Thanksgiving coming up I’ve been thinking a lot about food and my relationship with it. As a kid Thanksgiving holidays meant sitting around the table and eating until everyone felt stuffed and then going back for more as soon as there was space! Here are some revealing ramblings about food and other things……..
I fill my days with projects, with things to do, things to do outside myself. I spend time doing things so I feel accepted and loved by others. I can go to the moon and back for others, but when it comes to me not so much.
I love food, or do I? It’s a complex concept—Maybe too complex for me to grasp in this moment.
I love sweet food and coffee drinks and carbs and big French fries, steak fries to be exact; although, I’m not quite sure why they call them steak fries. I love a good salad too. One loaded with fresh grated beets, jicama, white northern beans, sprouts, olives, arugula and a whole host of other fresh ingredients. I could write a lengthy list of excuses as to why I don’t eat more salads, but they’d be just that—excuses. And the world has had enough of those.
I feel threatened (maybe that’s not the right word) by beautiful people, beautiful, skinny, successful people—the fat I still carry protects me from something, from realizing my true potential.
I’ve allowed technology to become too much of a distraction and am working on cutting down in that regard. Becoming glued to technology (social media, smart phones, etc.) is just not a good thing. It’s not just being glued to it though; it’s the expectation of what it will provide.
Quiet spaces. I definitely need to feel the quiet spaces more. So much more. I resist them but why? What am I afraid of? What will those quiet spaces reveal to me?
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