I sit here on this Monday night thinking about food, weight, losing weight, gaining weight, so much about weight. Anybody with a weight issue knows that losing weight has a multitude of elements. It’s way more than eating less and increasing exercise.
For me, the hardest part of losing weight involves how I feel and think about myself. I worry too much about how others perceive me. I’ve made so many choices throughout my life that I based on how others perceive me. In other words it mattered (matters) more how others think of me than how I see myself.
Sometimes I think I need to disappear for a week or two into complete silence, to see where my mind and heart go when left to their own devices and not the thoughts of others. I might do that someday.
Today, however, I must prepare for work. I teach college and the semester starts tomorrow, so if I want to be healthy and have energy I need to prepare food for the next few days. I need to measure trail mix and place it in snack bags. I need to chop vegetables so I can make healthy salads when I come home.
These actions take time and effort, but they’ll also help me continue creating the life I want and deserve—a life where I’m comfortable in my own skin—one painfully slow moment at a time.
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