I’ve been thinking a lot…….about sugar
With the arrival of the holidays I find myself thinking about and contemplating all sorts of sugar. When I go to the grocery store I see the holiday goodies and want to buy them all: the cookies, the cakes, the pies, the candy………and the list goes on. The other day I found myself thinking about why. Why am I having all these cravings? What’s the allure? What’s the craving all about?
I’ve been doing so much soul searching the past few months that I think I’m just too much in my head. Too much in the external. I don’t know how to say this as profoundly as I feel it, but sometimes I find myself so much in my head that I’ve lost the art of being. I struggle to find something to hold onto, yet, I know, the external isn’t the cure. This has been my battle since my father died over a year ago. Trying to find my place.
I do know this: I’m not going to make it through the holidays with squeaky clean eating habits, and I’m okay with that. But I’m not going to fall into traps of the past and overindulge every day. That’s how people gain 8-10 pounds. If and when I eat treats, they will be treats I will enjoy. There are certain popular desserts people always serve at parties but I don’t care for them, so I won’t eat them, no matter how many times people offer them. And that’s important because some people will say “but it’s the holidays. You can have one.” They seem to take the no answer personally.
The no isn’t personal. It just means no. Sometimes no means no because if I say yes and have one cookie I will want more and it won’t stop. I’m thinking here of butter cookies. If I eat one butter cookie I’ll want to eat 20. No exaggeration.
When I decided last week that I would allow myself some holiday sweets (the ones I like), I stopped obsessing about the multitude of processed sugars out there and started planning on making the ones I wanted. I also started thinking more about doing other things, including just sitting on my couch and reading a good book. A good book tastes better than sweets anyways.
Lasting changes don’t include deprivation, not for me anyways. Deprivation leads to binge-eating at some point and I don’t want to go there. Balance in all areas. Hard to achieve but worth working for!