PUMKPIN. It’s pumpkin season! Pumpkin Pumpkin Pumpkin EVERYWHERE!!!! I LOVE ALL THINGS PUMPKIN!!!!!! Pumpkin bath stuff. Pumpkin candles. Pumpkin decorations. Pumpkin food. Fresh pumpkin. Canned pumpkin. Dancing Pumkin. You name it. If it’s got pumpkin in it chances are I’ll love it.
A couple of days ago I went to Trader Joe’s and, much to my delight, I saw they had pumpkin body cream! I bought two containers of it. I missed out on buying some last year because they sold out of it so quickly. I purchased a few other pumpkin items as well, but I somehow managed to resist the allure of the pumpkin sea salt caramels, the iced pumpkin scones, the masses of other pumpkin items with sugar (not pumpkin) listed as the first ingredient. I really really really wanted to buy one package of just about every pumpkin sugary item I saw listed. I resisted that night. Sometimes, heck almost all the time, I feel like a need a chaperone with me when I go to the grocery store.
I had to go back to Trader Joe’s the next day, and in a weakened moment my resolve did not hold out. The pull of the pumpkin became too much for me, and I found myself putting a container of pumpkin biscotti in my cart. I reasoned that they had a low fat content. The first ingredient wasn’t sugar (Sugar was the second ingredient). Reasons. Schmeasons. I didn’t need them. It would be one thing if I could buy them and just have a serving every once in a while, but that’s not how this food addiction works with me. I’d have one serving and then two and then before I know it the whole container is gone. Trust me. I’ve eaten a whole container of meringues from Trader Joe’s in one sitting. It’s not that hard, especially when the body becomes used the high amounts of sugar.
That night I also discovered that Trader Joe’s carries Pumkin Joe’s—the equivalent of pumkin oreos. Immediately I put those in my basket. I had the perfect reason for this purchase—I’d never seen the pumpkin Joe’s before. I had to try them at least once. I’d only have a few before I threw the rest out. “Seriously?” I say to myself. “You know you’ll eat most of the package.” I had a moment of wisdom strength and put those cookies back. I feel beyond grateful that I had that moment of strength.
I didn’t put the biscotti back.
The truth: I can’t have just one of these unhealthy foods. That’s what makes them unhealthy. If I could just have one serving and then walk away and not think about the foods then I’d be okay, but I don’t stop thinking about them. I become obsessed. It’s true what scientists are discovering—sugar is worse than crack. Now, I’ve never tried crack. I’m basing that statement on how I react to sugar and the pull and allure of sugar, once it has a hold, feels almost too strong to break.
I had two servings of the pumpkin biscotti. By the way, they make it with pumpkin puree; however, the pumpkin puree is FIFTH on the ingredient list, so, really, how much pumpkin is in these biscotti? I will give the rest away. Not sure to whom or how, but they will leave my possession.
It’s still the season of the pumpkin though. The challenges won’t go away. Then it’ll be the season of Thanksgiving foods and Christmas food and Trader Joe’s Peppermint JoJo’s and the list goes on. It’ll always be the season of something.
I have to change my thinking. I have been doing that actually, but there’s always a new groove to create. I know that if I eat all the pumpkin foods I want to eat then I will suck at yoga. I won’t want to go hiking. I’ll sit around on my arse doing nothing because I won’t have the energy to do anything. I won’t have the energy to live. By live I mean breathing in the sunshine, the fresh air, smiling. I’ll just want to sit and do NOTHING. Except maybe plan my next eating fest.
I like being active and happy and living. I enjoy movement and sweating and laughing, much more than I enjoy the passive effect of feeling deadened by a food coma. I feel a certain amount of self-satisfaction by working at standing on one leg in standing bow. I feel the endorphin rush following walks or hikes (even short ones) and I bask in that natural high. Waking up in the morning I like bouncing out of bed, feeling ready to roll.
I love pumpkin stuff, especially sugar pumpkin stuff, but I think I like my life more. I’m sitting here writing this while sitting on my balcony, sipping sweet cinnamon pumpkin tea, sweetened only with stevia. I have pumpkin body gel. I made my own pumpkin body scrub for the bath. I can and do enjoy non-addictive forms of pumpkin. I have to choose to carry with me when I go grocery shopping.
I like looking at Halloween and other holiday decorations that have pumpkins. If I chose to over-indulge in pumpkin stuff I wouldn’t enjoy any of that. So, for today I choose life. I choose me.
Now, who wants some pumpkin biscotti? 😉
A healthy way to enjoy the pumpkin holiday–me at Disneyland in 2010!
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