Awkward Adjustments and Realizations

I spend so much time thinking, contemplating, puzzling, dreaming about balance. I seek to achieve it physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually—being in harmony with my inner world will manifest itself with equilibrium in my outer world.

I’ve written before about body balance. http://confessionsofahawaiianprincess.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/on-finding-balance-in-and-out-of-the-yoga-room/ I suspect I’ll be writing more about it as my journey continues.

I don’t feel very balanced right now. A few weeks ago I decided to go back to my old ways in the hot yoga room. I’ve been working diligently in certain poses, fixed-firm, standing bow and a few others, so I decided that I’d give myself a break while doing awkward. I started resting my tummy on my thighs again (if you’re read my blog you know that I’ve done that before).

Then one day it hit me. Balance my effort between all poses. Don’t give one pose all and give the other less. If/when I do that I put my whole system out of whack. Give each pose my all in the moment. In that moment if I need to back down, then I’m honoring that feeling, that breath, that part of my body that says stop, but if I anticipate and cheat my body by not giving my all in a particular moment then I’ll never know how far I can go.

I went into class one day having decided to give my all in awkward. I didn’t make any pronouncements as I had in the past. I just stepped forward into my practice with a solid intention. What I discovered surprised myself—keeping my abdomen lifted off my thighs didn’t seem as hard as it had before.

I don’t care for the size of my stomach. I can’t stand the feel of my belly on my thighs, so I’m really only cheating myself when I rest my abs on my thighs.

I need to work at balancing my practice, balancing my efforts in the room. I do that by learning to stay in the moment of each pose.

I also need to work at balancing my outer world and my inner world. The past few weeks I’ve borne witness to my thoughts spiraling out of control. I’ve lost sight of my own ability to balance my heart and mind. My inner world matches my outer. If I stay concentrated on the moment, if I remember that I control the thought my mind concentrates on then I’ll be much happier. My mind doesn’t want to concentrate on the burden; it wants to concentrate on the light. I just have to allow that to happen.

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Picture below shows me in the second part of awkward pose. Photo taken by Leila Brewster of Leila Brewster Photography.

 

 

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About yogaprincess7

I'm a woman on a mission to improve my life through yoga, fitness and happy living. You can find me on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsofaYogaPrincess
This entry was posted in Bikram Yoga and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Awkward Adjustments and Realizations

  1. Niki Pierce says:

    I understand your frustration with balancing your inner and outer world. I also suffer from this frustration, but you can’t beat yourself up for it. Just do the best you can with what you have to work with in the moment and take one day at a time. In time, you will achieve that balance without even having to work at it, as if it were second nature. As long as you are trying, you are succeeding! Keep moving forward Nancy! 🙂

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